Final Fantasy 7: The Musical
by Nakota
Summary: This is my first fan fic, so please don't be to harsh on me, lots of singing and we find out Tifa and Aeris's little secrets ^.^


FINAL FANTASY 7: THE MUSICAL  
  
-Highwind-  
  
Cloud: I'm bored  
  
Tifa: Cloud..I..am....never mind  
  
Cloud: Oh bloody hell, JUST SAY WHAT YOUR THINK ALREADY, you spent most of the game saying that, now spit it out  
  
Tifa: Ok, I love.....Cid!  
  
Cid: $%)&$ *Jumps off highwind*  
  
Tifa: COME BACK SNIFFLEBUFF, I LURVE YOU *Follows Cid*  
  
Vincent: Well that was quiet disturbing  
  
Barret: Daym foo', now who is gonna fly the highwind  
  
Yuffie: AHHHHHHH, WERE GONNA DIE *runs around screaming*  
  
*Highwind Crashes into Seto*  
  
Seto: OW, HEY!!!!!  
  
-Northern Crater-  
  
Jenova: *appears from god who knows where O.o* I'm ALIVE!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Yes I brought you back  
  
Jenova: But didn't you die as well?  
  
Sephiroth: Yes, but thats for other fan fic writers to erm..write  
  
Jenova: Thats True, time to minipulate Cloud and co.  
  
Sephiroth: You gonna make em kill each other  
  
Jenova: No..something more....funnier, Gee hee hee hee hee  
  
-Ruins of Highwind...and Seto-  
  
Barret: Daym, my head hurts  
  
Cid: *puffing*...I got rid of Tifa....finaly  
  
Tifa: Yooo hoooooo, huny buns  
  
Cid: *Oh sit*  
  
-Music to Jennifer Lopez's song 'Play' is heard in background-  
  
I could run all night and day  
  
Go to a bar, sit down and smoke  
  
Give my regrets to Shera  
  
'Cause Tifa come and she wantsa play  
  
thats when I fell my heart beat  
  
I get my ass of the seat  
  
Grab a gun and shoot her feet  
  
With playin with my mind  
  
Gay, Tifa is totaly Gay  
  
She knew it all along  
  
Just thinkin of girls turns her on  
  
Gay, she also likes to smoke bong  
  
You know that turns her on  
  
Please just gimme that tazer gun  
  
Just turn it up and turn it on  
  
DJ, just gimme that tazer gun  
  
I wanna be shooting all night long  
  
Wont you smoke my (Smoke My) smoke my (Smoke My)  
  
Smoke my favorite bong  
  
I care if every smoke's gone  
  
Give me more, cause i turns me on  
  
Keep running all night long  
  
It feel so right it can't be wrong  
  
I get chills up and down my spine  
  
Whenever I see that ***** from hell  
  
Better stop to take a puff  
  
(Smoke that sh*t agian)  
  
Let me puff it one more time  
  
1-Gay, Tifa is totaly Gay  
  
She knew it all along  
  
Just thinking of girls turns her on  
  
Gay, she also likes to smoke bong  
  
It really turns her on  
  
I'll just smoke this bong  
  
'Cause I wanna be puffing all night long  
  
I just wanna smoke  
  
Is that a crime  
  
WHAT DO YOU %#&%#ING MEAN IT IS!!! *Takes a puff of his smoke*  
  
Oh, ay, yes that's the hotness right here  
  
*Clouds repeating 1- in the background*  
  
Now Mr. Wallace  
  
I've asked you three times  
  
GIVE ME MY MOTHER(&)%#ING BONG *Rock music starts in background*  
  
He, he, he  
  
Turn it up, turn it up  
  
Turn it up, turn it up  
  
Turn the track up  
  
-Song Ends, leaving the entire gang speachless and dumbfounded-  
  
Everyone:  
  
Tifa: *Red Faced* I'M NOT GAY!!!!!, and I DO NOT SMOKE BONG  
  
Cid: I was talking about myself there, I smoke bong  
  
Vincent: Why did you just burst into song?  
  
Cid:.....$@&*)$, I dunno  
  
-Northern Crater-  
  
Jenova: IT'S WORKING FEE JEE JEE JEE!!  
  
Sephiroth: *stunned, by Cid outburst of singing*  
  
Jevova: Lets, see what hidden secret the Ancient's got  
  
We just found out Tifa's dirty little secret HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
-Ruins-  
  
Cloud: I can't belive you gay, Tifa  
  
Barret: Get over it foo', there's nothing wrong with that  
  
Cloud: I know, but...still  
  
Aeris: I have something to tell you  
  
Cloud: What is it?  
  
Aeris: Well you know how I'm you girlfriend and all  
  
Cloud: Yeah...well the truth it  
  
-Theme music from The Monkees starts in the background-  
  
Vincent: Not another song, I still havn't recovered from the last one  
  
Aeris:  
  
-There he comes, walking down the street  
  
placing milk bottles on every house in the street  
  
Hey Cloud, I'm pregnant  
  
And people say I'm a virgin  
  
But I'm to busing screwing  
  
To tell them the real fact  
  
We screw wherever we want to  
  
do whatever we want to do  
  
We have lots of time to get restless  
  
There always something to screw  
  
I'm just trying to be 'friendly'  
  
Come watch us screw and screw  
  
We're the young generation  
  
And we have got tonnes to screw  
  
Hey Cloud, I'm Pregnant  
  
people say that I'm a vigin  
  
But I'm o busy screwing  
  
The, the milk-milk man  
  
I'm just trying to be 'friendly'  
  
come watch us screw and screw  
  
Were the young generation  
  
And we have got tonnes to screw  
  
Hey Hey, I'm pregnant  
  
Hey Cloud, I'm Pregnant  
  
-Song ends-  
  
Cloud: *Jaw dropped...literaly*  
  
Aeris: Me and the Milkman are having a baby  
  
Cloud: Your dumping me?  
  
Vincent: HEY..I think I know why we are singing all the time  
  
Cid: Why )&$@*&  
  
-Northern Crater-  
  
Jenova: Sh*t, Vincent's on to us  
  
Sephiroth: Ah just let him tell the rest, your gonna die at the end of this fan fic anyway  
  
Jenova:...True, So lets have some fun  
  
-Ruins-  
  
Red XIII: Lemme guess, your gonna burst into song?  
  
Yuffie: *runs away* NOT VINCENT SINGING AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Vincent:  
  
-Backstreet Boys 'Backstreets Back' Music Starts up-  
  
Everybody  
  
Rock your body  
  
Everybody  
  
Rock your body right  
  
Jenova's back, OH NO!  
  
Oh my god she back agian  
  
Brother Sisters, everybody sick  
  
Gotta bring her down  
  
Show you how  
  
If yah got some questions  
  
I'm gonna answer em now  
  
She she really back  
  
Yeah  
  
Is she the only one  
  
Yeah  
  
IS she sexual  
  
GOD NO!!  
  
She is everything you fear  
  
She's gonna rock the world, yeah  
  
Everybody YEAH!  
  
Rock your body yeah  
  
Everybody YEAH!  
  
Rock your body yeah  
  
Jenova's back, OH NO!  
  
Now throw your hands up in the air  
  
And wave em around like you really high  
  
IF you wanna live lemme hear you yell  
  
JENOVA's A *****, ALL RIGHT  
  
IS she really back  
  
Yeah  
  
Is she the only one  
  
Yeah  
  
Is the sexual  
  
...Cloud, that has to be the lamest question ever, and you $%(*$ing  
  
already asked it  
  
Jenova's back, OH NO!  
  
-Song ends-  
  
Cloud: So jenova is behind this?  
  
Vincent: Yup..and she is at the north crater  
  
Barret: LETS KILL THAT *****!  
  
-Northern Crater-  
  
Jenova: The have come to kill me  
  
Sephiroth: Wont take much, you only have 664hp  
  
Jenova: WHY!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Cause, I only used a Phoenix down  
  
*Highwind crashed into the side of the crater-  
  
Jenova: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Cloud: Your going down  
  
Jenova: Oh no I'm not  
  
-Christina Aguilera's 'Genie in a bottle' music starts up  
  
*Jenova sing in a deafening high pitched voice*  
  
I've been locked up tight  
  
For a year of lonly frights  
  
Waiting for someone to release me  
  
With a Phoenix down  
  
And blowing kisses my way  
  
But that dont mean that Sephy is gonna kiss me  
  
Dammit Dammit Dammit  
  
If you wanna fight with me  
  
****, I'm realy in trouble  
  
I'm Jenova the Ancient Killer  
  
I guess you gonna kill me right away  
  
If you wanna slaughter me  
  
I really wich I'd live  
  
You gotta make a big impression  
  
I gotta like what you do  
  
I'm Jenova in the crater, baby  
  
Your gonna kill me right away?  
  
I'm Jenova in the crater baby  
  
Come, come, on and just lemme die  
  
-Music ends for some reason (Thank freaken god-  
  
Vincent: You want us to kill you  
  
Cloud: With a voice like that, I can't blame her  
  
Sephiroth: I second that  
  
Jenova: Well we all know that I'm gonna die, so just get it over and done with  
  
Vincent: Ok *Farts on Jenova*  
  
Jenova: *hack*...now that was TO cruel *cough*.......*Jenova dies..agian*  
  
Tifa: Well that was anti-climatic  
  
Vincent: Ah Yes, BUT WAIT UNTILL THE SEQUEL (BOM BOM BOMMMMMMM)  
  
Cloud: Now TO KILL SEPHIROTH!!  
  
Sephiroth: ME?...why?  
  
Yuffie: You were helping jenova  
  
Sephiroth: HELL NO, I was to busy rappin' with da Shin-ra  
  
Everyone:  
  
----------------------------THE END-------------------------------  
  
With Jenova gona and the world no longer bursting randomly into song, the world is at peace...except for Cloud you as still pissed off with Aeris, for not telling him how she came back  
  
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY...TELL ME WHATCHA THOUGH OF IT AND I MIGHT RELTELL THE STORY FROM THE SHIN-RA POINT OF VIEW  
  
Please reply on what you thought of it, its my first singing fan fic 


End file.
